TORONTO McK

Toronto McK is not known to many, but many is not known to what they know.

His short stories and poems have scared children and humans all over Texas and Salt Lake City for over two weeks, and he is a renowned substitute violinist for the Abercrombie Metropolitan Shopping Mart of Peru.

The artwork and portraits Toronto has created are not on display in the Louvre, the Vatican Museums and the Tate Modern, but most definitely might be in the waiting room of Wintworth Nolan Asylum, but who knows?

Toronto's novels and stories were once held in great esteem by The Women's Institute (WI) but after several battles involving poisonous cupcakes and subpar tea, they were drowned in the ocean. So were the stories...

In his spare time, of which he has none, he concocts escape plans and mixes potions in his wooden cauldron at the bottom of the garden. Every fourth Tuesday of the second month in the alphabet calendar, he sings a song only he knows and has never heard.

SB

Sarah, Sara, Sarrah and Serah. Four names: one woman. Very little is known about darling SB; what is known is her love for shop-bought coffee and the word 'notwithstanding', notwithstanding the fact that the word is never incorrectly used.

She is a she and not a he, but no doctor alive has confirmed this or lived to tell the tale. Her face is her own and she denies any rumours of plastic surgery or enhancements. Any problems - speak to her secretary.

Toronto's Instagram feed: